I have a typical structure when it comes to posting updates on our blog. This one is going to be a little different.... a little more candid, straight-from-the-heart blog entry.
I am 32 weeks and 4 days pregnant. To a NICU nurse, that is great. To a mom, that is still a very scary gestational age.
As some of you may know, I was diagnosed at 18 weeks with a complete previa. This means my placenta is covering my cervix which is problematic if I contract/labor because that means the placenta would come out before baby and pose a huge risk to baby and myself. We rechecked the placenta at 28 weeks and it had improved but still slightly problematic. The symptom they told me to watch for was any spotting or bleeding.
I woke up at 4:05 am this morning and without going into too much detail, easily noticed the one symptom I was advised to watch for. I don't know that I have ever been more scared in a pregnancy than I was this morning. Pete was calm, cool, and collected - he was amazing!
We came into the hospital and had some tests done including an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that the placenta was back to being a complete previa (i.e. the placenta was completely covering my cervix) and was most likely the cause of my pregnancy scare. The bleeding has stopped and now I am just sitting here in a hospital bed listening to that beautiful baby's heart beat. On the ultrasound, Jake measured 4 lbs 10 oz and was doing "practice breathing" which they assured me was a great sign.
The doctor has informed me that I am hospital bound for the remainder of the pregnancy. I am really hoping to make it to 35 weeks but would be ecstatic for anything after that. I have decided that each passing day is another day that he has grown and remained healthy in utero. I am trying to be as positive as possible because the LAST thing I need to do is stress about all of this. "Try and relax" is what they keep telling me....what a joke! But I will try...
I miss Claire and Grace already. They are so much fun to watch and I just feel bad for what the next weeks will bring. Don't get me wrong...we have excellent family and friends and there are so many people that have stepped up and are willing to help. We are SO grateful for that. Selfishly though, I am still sad its not me. I know right now I just need to focus on Jake - he is the child that needs me the most right now.
I will continue to keep you updated - I have nothing but time on my hands :)
I think I will be bored the next few weeks so phone calls are welcome/appreciated
Any visitors are also welcome...
Prayers are greatly appreciated!