The holidays are my favorite time of the year...usually.
This year the season definately has a different feel to it.
It's almost like I just want to power through them to get past the first Christmas without my dad.
I remember last year's Christmas I just powered through because I knew it was going to be the last one with him and I didn't want to think about it. I went to work and just cried that night because I finally let the emotion out and began to cope with it being my last Christmas with my dad.
My brother and I have spoken about one of our biggest fears this holiday season is when we will hear "Silent Night". It will be particularly hard during Christmas Eve services. When the song plays I will think of turning my dad the past three Christmas Eve masses and seeing tears streaming down his face. I will also think of walking behind his casket down the aisle at his funeral because "Silent Night" was the procession song. Phew...this season is just going to be rough.
On a positive note, I have three little ones that will help because they are so excited for Santa...well, Claire and Grace are!
Here is a poem that has given me some comfort...
My First Christmas in Heaven
I see the countless Christmas Trees around the world below,
With tiny lights,like heaven's stars,reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular;please wipe away the tear,
for i am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir here.
I have no word...s to tell you,the joy their voices bring,
for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me.I see the pain inside your heart.
but I am not so far away.We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear ones,You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above
.I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all"Love"is the gift,more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other,as my Father said to do,
for I can't count the blessings or the love He has for you.
So,have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear,
Remember,"I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year"